


I'm Fine

by Violetprimekitty



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Resentment, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-07 18:39:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19475026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violetprimekitty/pseuds/Violetprimekitty
Summary: Having went through the Tartaros incident. Wendy haven't been quite the same. With all of her friends scattered across the continent doing their own things. The young child tries to cope with the traumatic incident on her own.(This is canon divergent and are exploring the topic of Abandonment Issue and PTSD)





	I'm Fine

**Author's Note:**

> This my take on what should have happen after Tartaros from a realistic standpoint.

XXXXXX  
I’m fine.  
XXXXXX

How many time did Wendy said that? Three times? Six? Ten? Or is it more? She couldn’t remember anymore and honestly, she doesn’t really care all that much. Maybe it’s because she already got used to it? Or maybe it’s because she just want to be left alone. Maybe it was the latter…. Definitely the latter.

Wendy stares down her cup of orange juice, sitting alone on one of the available table provided on the dark corner of the guild. She nurses her cup and took a sip of it. The fluid went down her throat and yet it still felt dry. She sighs and pushes the drink away from her, not noticing that she knock it down and spills it all over the table. She wasn’t even thirsty so why did she drink it? She leans back and stares at the dusty ceiling of her little space. Another person came by her table and asked how she was doing and if she was adjusting alright. She said the exact same thing she has been telling everyone else.

XXXXXX  
I’m fine.  
XXXXXX

It’s weird, why does she keep saying that. She doesn’t know when but the man has left her, like Fairy Tail, like Cait Shelter, like Jellal, like Grandeeney. They left her, they all did. Wendy looks around her new guild, Lamia Scale. She takes a good look at the mages that fills the room with chatters and nonsense. All of them look happy talking to one another and smiling without a care in the world, they’re getting a bit rowdy for her taste, throwing things around the place, and it’s annoying her to no end. She wonders how long she’s going to stay here before something bad happen and she needs to leave again. That usually seems to happen whenever she found a new place to call home. Wendy slowly pinches the bridge of her nose with her fingers. She was so tired.

“Wendy…?” a voice calls her name. She sluggishly lowers her arm and looks at Carla with a half lidded eyes. Wendy tried to smile, but she can’t, there wasn’t anything worth smiling for.

“Carla? Hey… how are you?” Wendy asked. Carla somberly stares at her. She activates her wings and flew up so they are looking eye to eye.

“I should be the one asking you that” Carla gently shot back, giving her partner a reassuring smile. Wendy automatically answers her.

XXXXXX  
I’m fine.  
XXXXXX

Carla gives her a deadpan look, in fact she almost look insulted “Do you honestly think I believe you? You may be able to fool everyone else but not me” yup, she’s definitely insulted. Wendy forces a laugh, trying to look sheepish.

“I guess nothing will ever get pass you Carla…” Wendy tried to joke but her eyes were darting away from her. Carla looks at her with concern, the same look she’s been getting ever since Tartaros. She hates it.

“What’s bothering you Wendy?” Carla asked, landing on the table and giving her oldest companion her undivided attention. Wendy gave her a tired look; she really doesn’t want to talk about it.

“I……. can we talk about this later Carla? I’m…. tired” normally when something like this happen Carla would usually press for an answer, but today is different. Her young dragon slayer looked worn out even when she hasn’t done anything thing tiring or heavy-duty. Her eyes have dark bags under it, her hair is a mess, and whenever she speaks there was a noticeable slur in her voice.

“Can you at least tell me when was the last time you had a good night sleep? You look awful child” Carla asked as she steps closer to her and raised a paw, a silent permission for contact. Wendy hesitantly moves her hand, but stop inches away from touching it. She was having an internal battle with herself. Does she touch her paw and tells her or don’t? Carla is her friend, she could trust her right? After what felt like hours of thinking Wendy decide to trust her with the truth and touch her paw.

“I-” but before she could confess a stray tomato went flying and hit Carla’s head, the red juice trailing down her head. Wendy eyes widen as she looks on in shock as memory of the past emerges.

_She watches on helplessly as Carla is inches away from being eaten by a giant towering monster._

Wendy let out a terrified scream and panicky scrambles out of her chair, unintentionally pushing the chair back and it tips over. When she backs up she accidentally trips on one of its leg and fall to the ground with a loud thud. The commotion draws the attention of everyone in the guild. Carla disregard her dirtied fur, hurriedly runs to the edge of the table to check up on her dragon slayer “Wendy! Are you alright child!?” at this point a crowd have been made, they were all concern for their youngest member.

Wendy breathes heavily, her body shaking and she’s sweating bullet. She puts a shaky hand on her face. She’s breathing too quickly, her vision slightly blurred. Carla was saying something but she couldn’t hear it, her ears were ringing. Wendy felt tiny feet landed near her and a paw touching her arm but she didn’t dare look at her partner, not yet, too soon. Carla was saying something again but her words went pass through her head, her mind was too busy showing her past events. She’s hyperventilating, everything starting to get dark. She heard panic footsteps getting closer to her.

Wendy felt a warm hand on her shoulder “Wendy…. calm down and breathe…” she heard someone said from beside her but she couldn’t tell who it is, their voice calm and caring. She follows the person instruction and took a deep shaky breath “Good… good… and now let it out _slowly_ ” she slowly exhales through her mouth. She repeated this method a few more time and she finally calm down. She watch from the corner of her eyes Chelia kneeling by her side, so she was the one that’s help her “Chelia…” she said weakly, looking at her friend. Chelia smiles at her, giving her the warmest look she ever experience, beside Grandeeney and Carla.

“Yeah it’s me. How are you feeling?” Chelia asked in concern. Wendy shook her head. She briefly couldn’t find her voice. She tried to get rid of the flashing image as best as she could. Once she’s calm enough and found her voice again the young dragon slayer with her eyes closed respond with a simple “Okay…”

Chelia doesn’t look convince but seeing her friend distress decides to drop it for now. She knows something is bothering her but she doesn’t know what. She exchange glance with Carla, hoping that the exceed knows what’s wrong. Carla thinks for a moment and think back on their earlier interaction. She touches her red stained fur and something clicks from inside her head. Carla looks at her dragon slayer with sadness and regret. She gets closer to her and patted her arm before addressing the god slayer.

“Chelia… I’ll explain to you later but for now… take Wendy out for some fresh air and away from town for some alone time... She needs it” Carla requested, pleading almost. Chelia looks at her with shock. Carla would never plead unless it is absolutely necessary, which startles Chelia, the situation must be severe if the prideful exceed resort to begging. Chelia didn’t ask question and merely nodded her head. She helps the younger girl up and out of the guild, she holds her arm and helps her walk, she glares at anyone that was in her way. After all, Wendy breakdown was loud, and the other guild member of course notices it and was concern for her. Once they are out Chelia guide Wendy to the outskirt of the town, specifically the hill with the large tree standing tall in the middle. They are walking through town when Wendy has finally gathered her thoughts and find the courage to speak again.

“I’m sorry… for making a scene… you know… you don’t need to do this…” Wendy spoke up, her eyes downcast. Chelia just smiles in respond and kept leading her to their destination.

“I know, but I want to. I mean, we’re best friend. I’m not going to leave you when you were like that. What kind of friend would I be?” Chelia asked, looking around the road for a shorter and less crowded route for them to use, so far she haven’t find any. Wendy gives her a weak smile. She felt a warm feeling inside her chest, a warmth that she longingly desire since Fairy Tail disbanded. It was a welcoming feeling compare to how she felt earlier.

“A good one… thank you Chelia” Wendy said. She’s grateful that Chelia didn’t pry, she still isn’t sure if she was ready to answer the question her god slayer friend with no doubt have.

“How are you feeling?” Chelia asked, looking at her with concern. Wendy makes an extra effort to look alright for her, making sure it looks as genuine as possible. After all, she did help her and get her away from Carla and the guild.

XXXXXX  
I’m fine  
XXXXXX

Chelia doesn’t look convince but she remain silent. She notices the fake smile but didn’t comment on it, it’s for the best that she makes Wendy as comfortable as possible. She doesn’t want to push her friend have just because she’s wants the truth. As they continue their walk something caught Wendy’s attention “Hey… Chelia, what’s that?” she points a finger at it. She stops to look at where her friend is pointing and saw a crowd preparing a floating stage in the middle of the street, she could see a box of fireworks in the corner and it made her slightly nervous.

“Oh, that. Sometime a beauty contest us held here in Margaret. It’s not uncommon to see them a few times around here” Chelia explains “Margaret is a beautiful place for things like that”

“I see…” she trails off, her mind wonders to a certain white haired bartender and in turn her other friends. Making her mood drop, she frowns and looks away. She doesn’t want to talk about them, she doesn’t want to think of them, and she doesn’t want to be reminded of them. It made her feel sick. Wendy turns to Chelia “Where were you taking me?” she asked, unintentionally sounding cold.

“Huh? Oh! We were going to the big tree on top of the hill” she answers with hesitation, slightly unnerved by her sudden shift. Wendy nodded and went ahead, not saying anything or waiting for Chelia to catch up with her. She makes sure she didn’t see the photo shoot, in fear of triggering another breakdown from the flashing light of the camera. She just wants to get away and be **alone**.

“Wendy! Wait for me!” Chelia exclaims while hurriedly follows after her, making sure that she didn’t hurt herself by accident. Chelia walks slightly behind her and she silently observe her friend, she sighs and gives her a sad look. she badly wanted to ask her what’s wrong but she had a feeling that Wendy would just brush her off or said something mean, something that she thought was impossible for the younger girl but in her current agitated and wary state anything could happen. They continue the walk to the hill in silence, an uncomfortable one at that. Chelia takes a few uncertain steps, trying to find anything- _anything!_ To fill in the unbearable silence, but she comes up with nothing! She doesn’t understand why Wendy was being so cold and distant. It was worrying to her and Carla.

After news was heard of the defeat of Tartaros and Fairy Tail being disbanded it gives the land of Fiore a very bittersweet victory. Yes, with the end of Tartaros the last of the three guilds that control the Balaam Alliance crumbles and Fiore is at its peaceful. But Fairy Tail, the guild that let it all happen (Despite their many misgiving in the past) is now gone, any traces of the guild members scatters among the winds with only the remnant of their guild in rumble as evidence of their existence. None have seen them ever since with only a select few who enters a different guild but other than them? Nothing.

When she heard the news she hurriedly come for Wendy and Carla to check on them, and when she found out that they had nowhere else to go she persuade them to join Lamia Scale, even if temporary. At first they were reluctant to join but seeing that there is no alternative choice they agree and followed her. When they arrive in the guild Chelia announces that they are joining the guild everyone was excited. Having new member’s means a lot to the guild and in celebration for the new recruits they throw them a large party, boozes and fights was started and they just enjoy it without a care in the world. Ironically the two new members didn’t have that much fun in the party. Carla just scoffs at their rowdiness and is perfectly contempt to stay on the side while Wendy just looks on with a sad nostalgic smile.

Chelia nearly stumble after her foot was caught on some cracks which bring her out of her thoughts. She notices that they are half way up the hill, she must have been thinking for quite a while if she doesn’t even remember walking this far out. Chelia looks towards Wendy (Who didn’t even notice that she almost fell), specifically her hand. She wonders if Wendy would allow her to hold it. Should she take the chance? Maybe she should, there’s no harm in trying, worsting scenario she would just shrug it off and ignores her, so she made up her mind. She walks closer to Wendy and gently touches her hand. Wendy hand turn stiff, but she didn’t pull away. Chelia gave up and was ready to pull her hand away, she should have know Wendy wouldn’t want to-

Chelia felt her hand felt a sudden pressure before she could pull away. She looks down and saw her hands intertwine with Wendy’s. She looks at the dragon slayer in shock, who intern just give her an almost unnoticeable smile. Wendy was irritated but deep down she knows that she was being unreasonable cold to Carla and the others; she just couldn’t help but be angry at everything. But whenever she’s with Chelia her chest felt warm, like she was safe and all of her problem will go away. Chelia smiles and tightens her hold, glad that she was accepted. They’re almost reached the peak when a high pitch wiz was heard from the town below and firework blow up in the sky. Wendy froze and the path she was following disappeared, replaced by a dark cavern.

_A blinding light and deafening explosion was heard before everything went silent._

She collapses to her knees and in a hunch as terror paralyzed her, she heard Chelia screamed her name but she couldn’t make up what it is after that. She clutches her head tightly as her mind kept repeating the scene over and over and over again. Tears form from her eyes and slid down her cheeks. She was breathing too fast. Her lungs felt like it was on fire. The pain was unbearable, everything hurts! A breeze hit the back of her neck and it made her shiver. She let out a muffled whimper when the sensation brought her back to the cave.

She felt a pair of hands gently wrap around her waist and felt a body pressed against her back. A soothing humming tune was heard and manages to pierce through her clouded mind, but unfortunately it didn’t calm her down. Chelia looks at her with concern. What just happen? Something must have to cause this. She looks back at the town and a second high pitch wiz was heard followed by a big explosion. Wendy cries out in fear and she shivers violently, but not by the cold. Chelia put two and two together and she tightens her hug, she lays her head on her shoulder and continues humming a melody all the while she gently rubs her cheek against her shoulder. She understands now, it was the Tartaros incident, something traumatizing must have happen to her. Chelia try her damn hardest to be comfort her and be there for her, she hates seeing her friend like this. She would do anything for her if it means she would be safe and happy.

Wendy felt Chelia heart beating through her back and felt the same feeling she felt earlier. The warmth. How she misses it. A fleeting sensation that she desperately tries to grasp and held dear even for a moment. She craved the feeling and hoped that she can cling to it, just like a life line. She couldn’t help but let out a sob as the familiar feeling slowly overwhelms her.

“I’m here for you Wendy. I’m always here for you” Chelia whispers, she continues to do so until her friend calm down. It hurts her to so Wendy like this, seeing her usually cheerful and optimistic friend reduced to a scared sobbing wreck is heartbreaking. It makes her want to cry, she rubs a (Hopefully) soothing circle across her stomach “I’m here… I’m here…” she continues to repeat her words like a mantra, hoping that her words reach her. After what felt like hours but in actuality a few minutes Wendy slowly calm down and the grip she has around her head loosen. Her sobs slowly die out and her breathing regulates to a normal rhythm. She lets out one final shaky breath and slowly turns to look behind her “Chelia…” she said weakly, her voice sounding hoarse. Chelia just give her a warm smile and hug her.

“I’m here Wendy… I’m here…” she gently reminds her. Wendy nodded her head and shifts her body around and hugs her back. Chelia felt so warm against her skin, she needed this, she really, really needed this. Even for a fleeting second Wendy had never felt so safe in Chelia’s arms.

“Please don’t leave me…” she choked out, tightening the hug. Oh god she’s so scared. Chelia gives her a sad smile and bring them closer together “I won’t”

Wendy sobs and cries on her shoulder. Those words, she desperately wants to believe it but she’s too afraid that it would hurt her, just like Fairy Tail did. Her mind kept telling her that every word Chelia had told her is nothing more than a lie just to make her feel better, Fairy Tail did it before why would she be different. But her heart hopes beyond hope that she means it but she’s too god damn afraid to try. She’s nothing more than a coward.

She soon felt herself calm down and slowly let the hug go. Wendy stares at the ground as she couldn’t bring herself to look at Chelia. She was ashamed that she let her emotions get the best of her. How could she have let this happen? Once she gathers her thoughts she took a deep breath and steels herself, she needs to fix this “I’m sorry…. you… weren’t supposed to see that…” Chelia looks at her in disbelieve, she did not just hear that.

“How long has this been going on for?” she demanded, concern laced deeply into her voice, leaving no room for argument. Normally when Chelia was like this she would comply, but not today, not now, she just can’t, she doesn’t want to remember. Wendy groans and maneuvers her body so her back was facing her, she wouldn’t dare see her, to see the judgmental look “Please… drop it…”

“Wendy you know I can’t do that. Not until you tell me”

“Chelia… please… I can’t” _I’m not ready_ went unsaid. She covers her face with her hands. She can feel tears building up just waiting to be released. It hurts too much. _“Why must you be so stubborn?”_ she thought bitterly.

“Wendy please, you can. I know something is wrong with you” Chelia grip the younger girl shoulder, her hold tight and firm yet gentle at the same time “Wendy you have to tell me so I can help. Please!” she doesn’t want it to be like this, but if Wendy won’t open up then her condition could get worse “Is this about Tartaros? What happen to you back then Wendy?” Wendy bit her lower lip, hard enough to draw blood, trying in vain to stop her emotion from leaking out. With a last desperate mean to stop her friend from hurting her Wendy opens her mouth-

XXXXXX  
I’m fine!  
XXXXXX

“No, you’re not” Chelia gently rebuffs. She knows she was being a pushy but she couldn’t help herself. Seeing her friend in pain while she was there and doing nothing to help made her feel sick and disgusted with herself. She needs to know the truth so she could help her “Wendy you need help! This isn’t healthy! You’re like this because of Tartaros right!? Just tell-” something snaps inside of the dragon slayer and the only thing she could feel in the moment is the white hot rage buried deep inside of her.

“SHUT UP!” Wendy suddenly shouts out, unintentionally releasing her magic and blowing fierce wind in all direction. Instantly stopping Chelia from saying anything else “JUST SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT! UP!”

“Wendy-” Wendy slaps Chelia’s hand from her shoulder. She turns around with tears pouring down her eyes with a look of outrage, her blood soak teeth that drips down her lip give her a more animalistic fixture. The clouds began to darken as the uncontrollable sky magic was let loose with every emotions the young slayer let out.

“NO! SCREW YOU! SCREW ALL OF YOU! YOU DON’T GET TO DECIDE WHAT I NEED!” she shouts back. The dam that held her emotion has been broken and all of the hurt and betrayal that she had bottled up surfaces “I DON’T NEED HELP! I DON’T WANT HELP! I’M FINE ON MY OWN!” Chelia stares at her in shock, at lost for words. But Wendy wasn’t done yet. No, she’s just beginning “YOU KEPT SAYING THAT YOU’LL HELP ME BUT I KNOW YOU’RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE ME TOO! YOU’RE NO DIFFERENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE! GRANDEENEY! JELLAL! CAIT SHELTER! FAIRY TAIL! ALL OF THEM PROMISE THAT THEY’LL NEVER LEAVE ME AND I PLACE MY TRUST TO THEM! BUT ALL THAT DID- ALL THAT PROMISE- ALL OF THEM LEFT AND IT HURTS!” the winds blew fiercely and rain begin to gently pour, as if the sky itself is crying. Chelia gaze at her with a look of hurt in her eyes, she didn’t realize it was this bad.

“Wend-” Wendy didn’t wait for her to finish what she was about to say and was about to unleash another burst of magic when Chelia hastily and forcibly grab her hands, using her own magic to control the wild one. Through her blurry tear filled eyes she saw the look of guilt and shame her friend gave her, in her hazy clouded mind she couldn’t help but relish the look, if only to quell the pain for a bit.

“I NEEDED THEM! AND THEY LEFT! THEY ALL DID! THEY’RE ALL JUST A BUNCH OF GOOD FOR NOTHING LIARS! I- I- I-” her voice slowly dies down, overwhelmed by the emotional onslaught of her heartbreak “Lucy… Erza... Gray… Natsu... Jellal… Grandeeney… I needed them… They all left me. They promise that they would be there for me… and they left…” she choked out weakly. Deep down she knows she was being unfair, blaming all of them on something that they can’t control but she was hurting. She sobs and her eyes lower to their connected hands, it felt warm “They all did… All of them…” The rain continues to pour harshly towards the earth, soaking the two girls to the bone, but neither of them took notices. They were too focused on the issue on hand.

“I’m here Wendy. And I won’t leave you. You got me and Carla right here.” she reassures, she wiped the blood off of her mouth before pulling her into a hug. Tears flowing freely from her eyes as she cries for her friend sorrow “You’re going to be _fine_ Wendy.” Wendy closes her eyes and hiccups. She holds Chelia tightly, her sharp nails digging into the fabric of her clothes. Because she knows that it was nothing more than a _lie._

XXXXXXXXX  
No, I’m not.  
XXXXXXXXX

“Maybe not now or not ever, but know that I will always be by your side and I will never let you be alone ever again. I can promise you that.” Chelia hugs her tightly, letting her know that she will keep that promise. Wendy slightly chokes up when she heard those words. Maybe it will be different this time; she doesn’t want to get her hopes up but at the same time… Does her heart able to withhold another possibility of betrayal?

It would be worth it, right?

**Author's Note:**

> The human mind is an interesting thing you know, a traumatic event can change everything we believe in and can even shrew up our heads and shook the very foundation of our mind, the kind can turn vengeful and downright psychotic, The optimist can become a cynic, the brave and daring can became a coward in the face of a trauma, and much, much more. Which is why Wendy (who is twelve mind you) and the amount of shit she’s been through are ridiculous. I mean being left alone not one time, not two, but four times! Why isn’t the kid have abandonment issue!? Sure Wendy is more mature and wise for her age but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s a freaking child! Her mind hasn’t fully developed yet. Heck, in the Tartaros arc she nearly blow herself up and watch her childhood friend/Caretaker/Sister figure nearly eaten alive in front of her while she was being pin down and powerless. That kind of traumatic event at her age should have given her PTSD or any other types of Trauma. And while she’s really strong physically and mentally it doesn’t change the fact that at she is (and still is) a child who needs a lot of physical and emotional support which she didn’t get since all of her close friends parted ways the day Makarov disband the guild and the guild she currently in is full of strangers apart from Chelia.
> 
> And speaking of Chelia, the reason why I choose Chelia over Carla (Even though she was in the beginning of the fic) is because I needed a none-biased bystander who didn’t see or experience the tragedy but know Wendy enough to notices the effect it has on the young girl. And while her wanting to help Wendy through this hardship is a noble goal, you can’t push someone to open up and not expect them to blow up in your face because you kept reminding them of the bad things they rather forget. The mind will do anything to block off the pain, even if it means doing something unfair and irrational.
> 
> I also wanted to address the fact that Wendy lack of resentment to her guildsmate. I get it, she’s kind, polite and thoughtful but my god is she too forgiving. As someone who almost constantly apologizes and forgiving people that it became a fucking catchphrase [No I’m not Canadian (I get that a lot that it’s not even funny anymore)] seeing Wendy not angry with them is infuriating. They left you with your cat alone, you should be angry at them! I get that your master told you to follow your own path but goddammit they should have known better.
> 
> I don’t know how accurate I am with the portrayal of PTSD, I only know the basics. There isn’t a lot of media that tackles serious stuff like this but I hope I do them justice, I am in no way a professional I just think that making Wendy stay the same after all the shit she went through is just a miss opportunity to give her an character more depth and ignoring the psychological effect that it had on her psychic.  
> If this goes well then I would probably make another one-shot addressing the emotional repercussion of abandoning someone that needed you the most. Who knows?


End file.
